Mega games get mega reviews in a megaly disordered fashion.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

MASS EFFECT 3 WAS FUN FUCK YOU (multiplayer edition)

Before I get stuck into this whole shebang, it's probably worth mentioning that I'm a fanboy and this is my third review or something. So don't expect me to be too unbiased or professional here.

Right, if you've heard of Mass Defect 3, then you've probably also heard the two massive bitchfits that have been going around about it: 1) The ending sucks hard and 2) The only way to get the best ending is to play multiplayer, which no-one wants to play. Both aren't really true. I'll get onto the ending later, but for now there's this multiplayer stuff to deal with.

Before Mass Jizzfest 3 came out, Bioware let us all know that multiplayer was going to be in the game and that it would AID the player (AID) in achieving the best ending in the game. Most of the community became outraged at this because they can't read and thought you had to play multiplayer in order to allow Shepard to be seen planting flowers in his front garden at the end of the game. Now, I got pretty sad at this because all I thought was "holyshitIcanplayasaKroganNrrgghhhh" while everyone else was slamming the game before it even had a chance to apologise.

On a side note: if you've not played the game, then: the galaxy map is split into different areas with a multiplayer match in each one. Each section has a readiness displayed as a percentage, which is bolstered by playing there. These percentages add up to give you an overall galactic readiness percentage. This galactic readiness percentage is basically a marker for how well the war assets you amassed in single player will actually fight (so, say you collected 5,000 assets and have 50% galactic readiness then you will have 2,500 effective troops).

So basically, if you don't play multiplayer it will be harder to completely fill up your war assets to fight the Reapers, but not impossible seeing as there is a literal fuckton of assets in single player campaign. And if you are struggling to amass enough by the end of single player campaign, then you haven't done the side quests. And if you haven't done the side quests because you don't want to, then you've bought the wrong game. This is an RPG, not CoD, now jog on back to Fifa. Multiplayer isn't needed at all to get the best ending (which doesn't even fucking exist anyway), it's just helps the people who are too lazy to play the game go into the last boss prepared.

Apart from that, the multiplayer is fairly solid. The enemies get progressively harder. There are three different difficulties (easy, hard, and gang-rape) and three different enemies (Cerberus, Geth, and Reapersohgodnowhy). Taking these challenges on in squads of four is pretty fun, with an arsenal of weapons to unlock and level up, unique abilities for class and race choices and packages of goodies to buy with your hard earned whore money. And I will tell you now: when you save up for the expensive package and it drops a Black Widow, it's shit-your-pants exciting. The only downside is the proliferation of Krogans and Vanguards, which destroy all hope of getting points/exp for yourself. There's also the problems with melee attacks actually hitting, but that's only frustrating when you are playing a Krogan or Drell, so it's not really that bad.

Apart from that, the multiplayer is good, and doesn't just feel tagged on like it has done in other games, and the fact that it contributes to single player is a nice touch, not necessary, but handy for those people who don't want to play the RPG aspect of an RPG game. Plug in a headset and it's a decent add-on squad shooter to keep people happy for longer.

Cliff notes: Fun, quick to pick up, helps those without the time or energy to explore the galaxy in single player mode
Rating: 7/10
Would I recommend it to my friends: Yes, because the random players I come across online are retards.

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